Howard, the Popeyed, Jumpy, Slimy, Mischievous Fish

For the last few days Howard has been looking a little sketchy. You know those nasty toys whose eyes pop out when you squeeze them? Howard looks like one of those toys... while it's being squeezed... So today I did some research and found out that Howard has popeye. How appropriate.

Luckily, according to Betta Fish Facts Blog, "The good news is this new "look" that your betta is displaying isn't fatal and will go away if you do a few things." The first step to recovery is replacing water in Howard's bowl.

Normally, this is Grant's job. Although having a fish is nice and I enjoy looking at him, I'm not big on touching Howard, his food, or his water... gross. However, Grant has been muchos busy studying for his Series 7 exam. So, I decided to buck up and do it myself. BAD IDEA.

First, I put Howard in a cup so that I could work on his bowl. That went pretty well: no fish to finger contact, no messes. I poured all the water in the bowl down the drain and then poured the rocks onto some paper towels. All the gross stuff stays down in the rocks so I wanted to dry them off and get them cleaner. I proceeded to wipe out the inside of the bowl when I look over and...

HOWARD'S ON THE COUNTER! I instantly panicked, and of course, started screaming. I did NOT want to touch Howard, but I knew I'd be in trouble if Grant came home to a dead fish just because I was a weenie. So, I grabbed the cup and whatever was closest- the scrubbing brush for the dishes. I brushed Howard towards the edge of the countertop but instead of landing nicely in the cup, he fell on the floor!!

Again, screaming... I contemplated whether letting him die on the floor was worth it, and then screamed a little more. I gathered all my courage and tried to grab him. He flopped, I screamed, I retreated, he flopped again. I reached forward (screaming), grabbed him and aimed for the cup. Missed! One more try (screaming) and Howard was safely in the cup.

After breathing a giant sigh of relief, I looked down to check out the damage. The following text conversation then ensued:

K: I think I popped Howard's eyeball... but he still lives...

G: What did you do?!

K: He jumped out of the cup! I had to TOUCH him! It was very stressful and lots of screaming was involved. I think his eyes are okay now- the lighting is bad.

K: He's fine- just traumatized. But not as much as me...

Turns out, Howard's eyes are both in tact, although still both very pop-eyed. He lives, and amazingly, after that horrible experience, I live too. I still don't want to ever touch a fish again...