Tragedy Strikes Again!

We Tanners are no strangers to tragedy. You may recall the loss of our first waffle iron, Waring. We are also currently coping with the slow decay of our mango tree, Plantie. Well, today we mourn another loss: the unexpected, though prophesied loss of our ghost shrimp, Telly.

We woke up to find his lifeless body among the gravel. The autopsy results are yet to come back but we can only think of two reasons for his sudden death. First, Howard may have bumped him off when we weren't looking. However, this seems unlikely as Howard and Telly seemed to get along just fine. Second, and probably more likely, Telly expired from overeating (the plague of America!). We have yet to see Howard eat an entire pellet of food. Most of the time Telly would eat the pellets before Howard even showed interest. Perhaps his poor little invisible body just couldn't handle it.

Funeral arrangements are being made. His body will be interred down the flusher probably after Grant gets out of the shower. Virtual condolences, flowers, and money will be appreciated by the mourning family.